Speaking from a place of understanding, ok I get it. I can see how it could be quite easy when first beginning a new relationship, either after a breakup or divorce to have a bit of reservation (to put in simply). From a woman’s perspective, I know first hand that it takes time to heal from past wounds; like a long time. More importantly, take the time!! Don’t rush!! BUT then when we feel strong enough we step out on faith, in hopes of not repeating our past and begin again…dating someone new. Now, here’s the problem that I hear from other women that are in a similar place, “…he/she (new person) didn’t answer the phone when I was sitting there and I have trust issues from the divorce,” OR “…he/she hasn’t called me ALL day to even ask me how my day has been and I know that this is how my ex used to treat me…” The scenarios and examples are endless, but when do we leave the baggage behind and really give someone new a chance? Why should that person have to pay, repay, relive, experience through constant statements, the mistakes of the exes? It is isn’t fair that because we haven’t taken the time to really heal and work through; because we haven’t truly FORGIVEN when we boast that we have, that this new person have to deal with the leftover hurt. I have a philosophy which isn’t all that complex…Have FAITH that a new opportunity is just that…NEW and that our past, although honestly will creep into our mind from time to time, but it should not hinder us from the possibility of starting anew.
Seriously. Take the time and really be honest; write down concerns/issues and address them within yourself first. Acknowledge what it really is that cause of feelings that may be arising early on…Deal with those concerns FIRST even if taking a break in the beginning is the only option. Just deal with the baggage…learn from it and try again.
“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!”
― C. JoyBell C.
Simply Sowing Seeds 